what's so good about dying?

[perilous]

NEWSFLASH!

You should do the decent, compassionate thing for no other reason than that it is the decent, compassionate thing to do, you fucking assholes. YOU DO NOT LIVE IN A VACUUM. OTHER PEOPLE SURROUND YOU AND REACT TO YOU ALL THE TIME.

Unless you want to cut off all social contact forevermore, you have some responsibilities as a human being. Yes, these do include, if you are a writer of fanfiction, giving survivors of abuse and trauma the tools to use their own responsibility to avoid things that could hurt them. Reducing the options to "cheerfully open yourself up to being triggered without complaining" and "get out of fandom entirely" is not even remotely okay or good enough.

Why the hell are we even talking about this? How is this an issue? How?

:( Hold me, flist. (And if you disagree me with, honestly, please let me know so that I can defriend you.)

Comments

[loreleilynn.livejournal.com]

I'm really impressed with how calm you stayed in that thread with cynatnite. I don't understand how they're missing the point so epically, but they are, and it's really upsetting. :(((((

[peridium.livejournal.com]

I pretty much had to stay really calm and removed or completely blow up at her. :/ Venting extensively in other places helped too, of course. It really is one of the most frustrating arguments I've ever attempted, though. WHY WILL YOU NOT JUST LISTEN.

[likespring.livejournal.com]

Do I even want to know? :(

I hate people sometimes.

[peridium.livejournal.com]

I'm mostly referring to this entire thread (http://impertinence.livejournal.com/480847.html?thread=9852495#t9852495). I'm in there somewhere arguing, but there's a lot of rage-inducing shit in all of it.

Me too, bb. :(

[gdzie-jestesmy.livejournal.com]

I have no idea what this is about but it's making me upset. Some bitches need to be smacked in line. >:(

[peridium.livejournal.com]

All you really need to know is that people are assholes. :|

[blindingsight.livejournal.com]

I do not understand that woman AT ALL. She makes my head hurt.

[peridium.livejournal.com]

I really hope she's somehow the most elaborate troll of all time. :D? :D? ... :(

[egelantier.livejournal.com]

i woke up like thirty minutes ago, and i already want to bash my head agains the wall and maybe shake someone. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE. what. why.

[peridium.livejournal.com]

I rarely get this angry over fandom stuff, because... it's fandom. But this shit is just not okay.

[sinuous-curve.livejournal.com]

*holds you*

I want to punch someone in the face right now. Namely her.

[peridium.livejournal.com]

♥

It is very tempting. She should actually be glad I can't reach through my screen to do things to people.

[songshesings.livejournal.com]

*holds youuuuu* Seriously? I can't believe we're even having this discussion. :(

[peridium.livejournal.com]

♥♥♥

I know. :/ It's dismaying.

[fleurdeliser.livejournal.com]

♥♥♥

I know exactly how you feel.

[peridium.livejournal.com]

iluuu. ♥

[candidlily.livejournal.com]

How is this an issue?

EXACTLY. >:(

ARGH GRRRRRRRR I just read (part of) the thread in impertinence's post. JESUS, WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE!? At least it seems I don't have any privileged assholes on my friends list.

♥ I'm gonna go read some fluffy Frank/Gerard and then write some HIMYM threesome fic to cheer myself up. XD

[peridium.livejournal.com]

I KNOW. But yeah, my flist is cheering me up with its amazing lack of fail and abundance of awesome. :D

This plan is definitely a good plan. ♥

[dragonwhishes.livejournal.com]

*hugs you and holds you*

I'm not sure I want to know what's going on. I read the last post you made, so I have a sort of idea, but other than that, I don't know if I want to know more.

I don't get people. How hard is it to put up a warning?

[peridium.livejournal.com]

It's not really something you probably want to know a lot about. :/ People are horrible.

♥

[imagines.livejournal.com]

Why the hell are we even talking about this?

This.

The reason I haven't talked about it is that I don't know HOW. It shouldn't BE something that we have to talk about. For goodness sakes, what happened to having some fucking compassion?

...oh good fucking GOD. I just read some of the thread you're talking about. ;ASHslfkgdhfgjdhfgasiu WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THAT PERSON? I have not been the victim of abuse (maybe by pure fucking luck, considering my biological sex and my gender presentation and that I live in a big city), but I have enough goddamn common sense and empathy to realise that if someone says to me, "This hurts me--please stop," then I need to fucking STOP, not start arguing over whether they should be hurt in the first place.

I love this (http://impertinence.livejournal.com/480847.html?thread=9857871#t9857871) comment with all my heart. I am going to bookmark it so that I can use it to lay the smackdown on the future idiots I meet. Just because a book doesn't say "WARNING: [trigger issue] inside" does not mean one cannot find out before reading it whether it might be triggery. Hell, I don't have triggers, but there's material that makes me uncomfortable to read, so I always do a little research on media before I read or watch it.

I read warnings on fic, too, because while I don't have triggers, there are some things I need to prepare myself for. And there are some things I just don't want to read right then, if ever. I saw a comment saying that warnings cater to 2% of fandom--BULL. SHIT. If one out of four women in college (hey, isn't that the age of a good portion of fandom?) have survived rape or attempted rape, that's around 25% right there, and that's just the reported assaults. So many of them don't get reported at all. Add that to the % of fandom who just don't want to read about consent issues, or need time to steel themselves to handle it, and it's really fucking obvious that warnings "cater" (stupid word, that) to waaaaay more than 2%.

Dear portion of fandom who is being stupid: DO SOME RESEARCH. ALSO STOP BEING CRUEL. Thanks! :)

[peridium.livejournal.com]

I fucking know, right? This should not be an issue at all. It should be a no-brainer in the first place.

Yeah, the fact that fandom is such a female-dominated community makes the fact that this wank is going on especially horrible. There are so many of us who need warnings! Why the hell are people being so deliberately obtuse about this? It's seriously just about compassion.

♥♥♥

[citibyrd.livejournal.com]

Ugh, stupid people. >:(

[peridium.livejournal.com]

It boils down to this exactly. >:(((

[xolunchbox.livejournal.com]

I can't believe people are still trying to justify the (non) use of warnings :(

*hugs* I agree with you 100% ♥

[peridium.livejournal.com]

I know, dude. It is truly ridiculous.

♥ I'm very glad to hear that. :D

[ofabreadbox.livejournal.com]

Ugh, I hate people sometimes. I am glad though that so many people are being so responsive, you know? It's like you fuck with one, you fuck with all of us. We do no stand for shit like that.

ILU for saying something and for staying so calm, dude. ♥

[peridium.livejournal.com]

YYY, it's great to see my flist and the awesome portion of fandom in general rising up against the assholery.

♥ I wish I had magically been the one of many to get through to her, but... :/

[hebrew-hernia.livejournal.com]

YES.

Also I see that you are listening to "Tony" by Patty Griffin, and that is LOVE.

[peridium.livejournal.com]

:D

I love that song so much even though it makes me cry if I pay too much attention to it! I love Patty Griffin in general.

[geruhjima.livejournal.com]

ummmm.... i love you! ♥

[peridium.livejournal.com]

Ummmmm, I love you too! <333

[hello-ilu.livejournal.com]

*HOLDS YOU* add another to the list of "people impressed by Peri's calmness at cynatnite".

jfc, we should not even have to talk about this shit.

[peridium.livejournal.com]

I think that was anger disguised as calmness. :D: But thank you anyway.

EXACTLY. Ugh. >:(

[opheliasfire.livejournal.com]

AUGH. This. THIS infuriates me.

I actually encountered a situation like this outside of traditional fandom. This happened over at LJ secret a couple months ago where there was a secret that had to do with self injury (graphic picture and everything), which happens to be my own personal trigger. I made a polite comment on the post asking that the mods consider adding a warning about a triggering image to the post. Not only did several commenters leave replies suggesting that I just "get over it," "ignore it," or "just don't visit the community anymore," but the mod who did respond basically told me, "Well, it says NSFW (not safe for work), so that's basically the same thing."

WTF. I mean... how freaking hard is it to just slap on one tiny little phrase at the very beginning, along with the rating (that nine times out of ten you are REQUIRED to provide)? No one's asking you not to create or share your work. No one's asking you to censor or change it. Just use a simple warning that will save a lot of people from having to relive or experience something really painful. NGGK. FAIL, PEOPLE. FAAAAAIL. *is done preaching to the choir*

Anyways, thanks for posting the link to that other post earlier. Everyone should read it. And kudos to you for staying so calm in the face of blatant, unabashed idiocy. XD ♥

[peridium.livejournal.com]

Oh, for the love of God. I'm sorry you had to deal with that-- that kind of insensitivity and obtuseness is infuriating.

Yeah, that's part of what makes this so idiotic. It's barely any effort at all and it could seriously spare some people actual pain. What is the point of being so insistent that just because you have a right to leave off warnings, it doesn't make you a douche?

♥ You're welcome!

[websofseaweed.livejournal.com]

I really wish I could call troll on this one but cynatnite seems like the real deal. :\ This is ridiculous. What's the problem with adding a sentence at the beginning of your fic warning for possible triggers? Good God.

[peridium.livejournal.com]

I wish, too. :( But no. Which really makes it even worse-- how difficult is it to not be an asshole?

[citiesasleep.livejournal.com]

How is this an issue?

I want to make a post that is just this in giant font. IT SHOULD NOT BE AN ISSUE. I am so amazed with how calm you managed to stay in that thread.

♥ for you.